Love for life.

Love is a many splendored word. It holds different meaning to different people. It is the means and ends for a lot of people and it is the doom for a lot others. It is no doubt its many splendored. My first introduction into ‘Romantic love’ was through books. (Of course, I studied in a Girls only school and even hypothetically I studied in a co-ed school I wouldn’t have experienced it first hand). So books, and I was fascinated. The observation of surrounding gave me no clue that this was real. There was no longing look, warm gazes, reassuring smiles, romantic gestures between the couples I observed around. But there was trust, reliability, commitment, sincerity and a promise to go all the way. So, I realized it might be a combination of both. Then came Jane Austin with her Pride and prejudice. There was no ‘love at first sight’, there was no instant attraction. But there was an understanding, mutual respect, acceptance and trust which was built in months and years. That made sense to me. That was something possible. Especially for a socially awkward over weight adolescent, this understanding of each other in other levels than physical appearance and instant attraction made sense. It was never the stereotypical couple that held my interest. My heroes were Mr. Darcy, Atticus Finch, Rhett Butler and then Howard Roark. Roark and Finch sustained, rather still continues. Then, another notion came. Love is not about the other person. It is all about what you are and how you feel around another person. You feel comfortable and happy with friends. You feel suffocated around people who you dislike. What should you feel like when around someone you love? Comfortable and happy and relaxed. Moreover, we should be able to be ourselves. No pretentions no excuses and no misgivings. Does it happen in a day? No. Does it happen with only one single person? I am not sure. Does it sound pure and sacrificial? No. So for me ‘love’ denotes a very selfish need fulfillment. The need to belong, the need to be accepted the need to be ‘complete’, the need to be self- actualized. Where is the divinity, sacredness and purity literature associates with Love? I don’t see it. It is not sacred or pure it’s just need, which also involves the basic need of procreation. I am sure there are lovers who will die for each other. But what good are you dead, to another person? It seems like you no longer could stand it so you ended it. What is so pure about it? Isn’t it intolerance and impatience? Romeo and Juliet are my least favorite lovers. How can we call it eternal? They didn’t believe in their love enough to live it! To me both of them were under depression or something. But I know Shakespeare has out done himself with ‘Taming of the Shrew’. The hero marries for money, finally they both are in ‘love’. There is mutual acceptance and respect in the end. For me that is romantic. And then Nicholas Sparks with his perfect romantic couple stories. It is nice to read, and imagine. But in truth how many men will cook and serve a romantic dinner to their beloved as a surprise? Or send small notes in letters, emails, in bottles? Or listen to the worries and concerns and reply appropriately or act as expected? How many women are impeccably beautiful, supportive, understanding and encouraging at the most difficult situations? So, again it is all about how good you can handle each other and work around each other that matters. All the rest are just hypothetical theories!